How to Deal with Grief Around the Holidays

Grief is never easy. During the holidays, it can become even more intense. The person you lost was a
part of the holiday rituals, activities, and social scene every year. Now, your loved one won’t be there for
the family gatherings. They won’t be able to join you in drinking a toast to the new year with your
favorite regional beer or wine. You need a plan for dealing with the loss.

What can you possibly do to get through the festivities? If your grief is overwhelming, therapy can help
you learn how to cope. Consider a telehealth provider such as BetterHelp (https://www.betterhelp.com/online-counseling/). There are also several things you can do for yourself
to have a better holiday season this year.

Don’t Cancel the Holiday
When you’ve suffered such a significant loss, it’s natural to want to ignore the holiday. It’s also easy to
give yourself permission to withdraw from the whirlwind of activities and social events that usually mark
the season. Don’t go too far with that. Isolating yourself will only intensify your grief and may lead you
into depression.

While it’s fine to go a little easy on yourself, avoiding the holiday altogether is a bad idea. Yes, allow
yourself some private moments to remember and grieve. But also, choose some holiday activities and
gatherings to attend.

Be Realistic
If you’re usually very busy during holidays, it may seem strange not to approach the season with the
same enthusiasm this year. Instead of withdrawing, you may be tempted to jump into even more
holiday commitments. What you need to remember is that this year isn’t the same as last year.

Make some plans, certainly. Just don’t expect as much from yourself as you did in years past. It’s really
okay if you aren’t the one who does all the shopping, cooking, and decorating. Accept help when it’s
offered. Turn down a few social gatherings if it seems best to do so. No one can reasonably expect you
to do everything you’ve done before. Don’t demand it of yourself, either.

Make New Traditions
A part of dealing with your loss is learning how to live without your lost loved one. That can be hard
during the holidays if that person has played a central role in the celebrations. You need to find new
ways to celebrate with the people you still have with you. For example, before the holiday meal, choose a new person to carve the turkey.

You can also include memories of your lost loved one in the holiday traditions. Start a custom of drinking
a toast to them at holiday gatherings. Get out their favorite game for everyone to play. Put on the
seasonal music they loved most.

Approach the holidays with a realistic view and a commitment to yourself to have the best holiday you
can. Don’t push yourself beyond your capacity to endure but do be a part of the celebration. You’ll not
only survive the holidays without your loved one. You’ll set the stage for happy holidays in the future.

Marie Miguel has been a writing and research expert for nearly a decade, covering a variety of health-
related topics. Currently, she is contributing to the expansion and growth of a free online mental health
resource with BetterHelp.com. With an interest and dedication to addressing stigmas associated with
mental health, she continues to specifically target subjects related to anxiety and depression.