Schlafly – Special Release Mayan IPA

From Schlafly:

The ancient Mayans predicted the end of the world on December 21st, 2012, so we did what any brewery worth their salt would do and we set out to create a beer for everyone to drink on their last day on planet earth. Who wouldn’t want a Mayan-themed, specially made beer to celebrate the end of the world? We learned two important things yesterday. First, that the Mayans were wrong. We’re still here. Who knew? We also learned that apparently consumers have gotten so used to seeing new beers out on their shelves with crazy names, even crazier ingredients, and skyrocketing IBU’s, that when presented with an announcement for a “new beer” featuring 1525 IBU’s and hand-milked hallucinogenic toad venom as an ingredient, the immediate reaction for many wasn’t “that’s stupid and mildly amusing on my Friday afternoon”, but was instead… “hmmm, I wonder what best pairs with and would bring out the nose of toad venom.” My point…we got a lot of calls from people wanting to buy Mayan IPA yesterday.

So to all of you who may have been fooled, or even upset by our attempt to have a little fun with the apocalypse, I do sincerely apologize. We simply wanted to share a laugh with you. Honestly, my guess is that most people saw an announcement for a new Special Release IPA and never read past the name, as they were just so excited to try another amazing Schlafly IPA. I can totally understand that. I would be excited as well as our brewers knocked AIPA and TIPA out of the park and I can’t wait for the forthcoming XIPA (I swear this is a real beer). That said, had you read on…you would have seen the thing about us hand-milking toads to use their venom as a beer ingredient. What I can assure you going forward is no matter how much we might want to, we will never put toad venom in your beer. Those toads are really expensive to import and Kyle is the only brewer at Bottleworks whom I think would be in to milking them.

7.2% abv
5125 IBU
Appearance – Explosively Bright
Process -  Blend of raw cacao, hind-milked toad hallucinogens
Hops – Xibalba (Guatemala)
Malts – 2-row malted barley, maize
Yeast – Wild
OG – 15.4
SRM – 4

Schlafly Mayan IPA is brewed with 100% Mesoamerican hops. The Guatemalan hop, Xibalba (the Mayan word for the underworld whose mouth is in the dark rift near the center of the galaxy), is a strong, aromatic variety that is different from traditional strains of the Pacific Northwest. Our brewers developed a recipe that showcases the hop’s unique flavors of citrus and corn (or maize) while also paying homage to the historical Mayan “Drink of the Gods”, with the addition of raw Cacao. Always at the forefront of brewing innovation and desiring to create the ultimate beer to pair with the end of the world as we know it; our Schlafly brewers procured and raised a “knot” of rare Central American psychoactive toads for the purpose of milking their poison glands and harvesting the liquid bufotoxin for inclusion into the finished beer prior to bottling.

December 21st, 2012 marks the conclusion of a b’ak’tun—a time period in the Mesoamerican Long Count calendar, which was used in Central America prior to the arrival of Europeans. Some believe that this date signifies a coming global transformation of consciousness as we know it; a growing realization that materialism and the rational, empirical worldview that comes with it has reached its expiration date and that we’re on the verge of transitioning to a dispensation of consciousness that’s more intuitive, mystical and shamanic. Others have hypothesized Earth will pass through a “galactic synchronization beam” emanating from the center of our galaxy, and that this passage will result in “total synchronization” and “galactic entrainment” of individuals “plugged into the Earth’s electromagnetic battery”. However, the consensus among the academic community is that we’re all going to die.