Flying Dog – Barrel-Aged Gonzo 2014 Release Details

You took the day off from work and are prepared to abandon any pets, children, and/or dependent significant others to get your hands on a bottle of Barrel-Aged Gonzo Imperial Porter at our exclusive Barrel-Aged Gonzo Imperial Porter release this Monday.

How much does each bottle cost? 

750-ml bottles of Barrel-Aged Gonzo Imperial Porter cost $20 each. We accept cash and credit cards. We do not accept personal checks unless the comic strip Cathy is printed in the background.

I want to be the first in line. How early can I arrive?

You can get in line as early as 9 am. By doing so, you waive Flying Dog Brewery of any responsibility for frostbite, loss of circulation to key limbs, loss of battery life on phone, and overall cold-weather bitterness. We will not let anyone in the building until the clock strikes noon, so come prepared.

Can I call ahead and reserve bottles? 

No. You can only purchase bottles on-site from noon to 8 pm, even if you try to sweet talk us. 

Can I call during the sale hours, buy the beer, and have it shipped to me?

Again, no. It’s illegal in Maryland for a brewery to ship beer directly to consumers. It’s also illegal in Maryland to grow thistles in your yard, throw bales of hay out of second-story windows, and give or receive oral sex. 

Can I buy more than two bottles during my visit? 

Nope. There will be a strictly-enforced two bottle per person limit. If you want more than two, bribe and bring your friends to buy for you. (But if you need to bribe your friends to come to a brewery, you may have some issues to sort out before you start worrying about buying more than two bottles of beer.)

Once I buy my beer, what can I do? 

While we cannot serve beer by the glass quite yet, we are able to serve beer samples. Also, from noon to 8 pm, The Smoking Swine will be cooking up some damn fine BBQ and Signs Point East will jam out from 5 to 7 pm. 

Are growler fills and other packaged beer to-go available during the release?

You bet your ass they are. However, by law, we can only sell a total of 288 oz. of beer to each person. We’ll let you do the math from there. 

Will bottles of Barrel-Aged Gonzo be available at my local bottle shop after the release?

Nope. And while you’re in reading mode, you might want to check out what the word “exclusive” means.
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