Intimacy Versus Isolation In These Covid-19 Days

With the entire world sheltering in place, we also have the time to ponder not only what the new normal will be at the end of this quarantine, but also what effect quarantining will have on us psychologically. People everywhere are isolated from loved ones or in some cases they are in a forced concentration of loved ones, all together sharing their resources and spaces.

I’m fortunate enough to be sharing my isolation with only one person, but I can absolutely identify with the need for privacy and isolation and I remember many moons ago when I lived with my parents feeling the need to just be left alone.

With time on my hands, this got me thinking about intimacy vs isolation and how it relates to the Covid crisis.  In psychological terms, Intimacy Versus Isolation is the 6th stage of 20th century developmental psychologist Erik Erikson’s theories of psychological development. Erikson theorized that we all develop through eight pre-determined stages (psychological crisis) from infancy to our adult lives. Each of these stages or crisis will have a fundamental positive or negative outcome in our lives.

The sixth stage typically occurs in young adults where a person begins to seek more isolation from family in order to develop longer-term relationships with others outside the family. If successful, this critical stage leads to the development of healthy adult relationships.  If unsuccessful, this stage can lead to isolation, depression and loneliness.

Naturally I can’t help but wonder how a young adult who is now stuck in quarantine with his or her family and totally isolated from non-family members due to Covid-19 will do in Stage 6. I suspect our internet resources will play a large role in the stage six progression of an isolated young adult, but I also suspect this constraint on Stage 6 will cause longer-term damage down the road.  I can’t imagine a young adult who wants to separate from his or her family to find longer-term relationships who essentially can’t leave the house and who definitely has to maintain social distancing with non-family members.

This seems like the Stage 6 perfect-storm to me, but only time will tell how this will all play out for psychological development during the Covid-19 crisis. If you’re curious, like me, I found a lot of good info on intimacy versus isolation here.