Surly Launching Mixed Messages Variety Pack

From Surly:

Mixed Messages, our holiday season variety pack, is so named due to the different beer styles contained therein. It also references the tactical-grade passive aggression of our beloved home state and the entire Upper Midwest. Saying what you mean without ever saying what you mean, or even the precise opposite? That’s a Mixed Message. Think of how people wield “Bless your heart” in the American South and you can truly gauge the blistering judgment of “That’s interesting” from a Mankato grandmother.

Our original intent with this piece was to lay out a list of phrases that you could bring home with you for the holidays to decipher what your aunts, uncles, and cousins were on about. However, current health guidelines strongly discourage this kind of activity. Our recommendation: Commit these to memory while enjoying a Mixed Messages selection (Furious, Grindcore, Periscope, and Fall to Pieces), order a metric ton of takeout from a local bar or restaurant, and call Uncle Merle on his land line to see how many he drops.

BASIC (as seen on t-shirts and wholesome Facebook memes)

Interesting = I hate this. I hate this a lot.

Ope = Just gonna scoot past ya here.

Yeah no = No.

No yeah = Yes.

Ah jeez = Mildly annoyed or more upset than you’ve been in your adult life. Usually involves parking.

You betcha = Yes with intent to follow through.

I’ll see = No with intent to hope the subject is dropped.

That’s nice = This is terrible.

OK, then = Not OK.

It’s fine = You’re wearing jeans to my daughter’s wedding. OK, then.

INTERMEDIATE (you weren’t born here, but you’ve lived here long enough to know what’s up)

Pert near = Could be next door, could be 45 minutes.

Ish = Super gross.

I don’t mind = I mind a great deal.

Going to Target for a couple things = I’m about to spend $250.

We’re good with whatever = We are not. Do not order food from there, the owner sneaks out of church during communion.

Oh, funny! = This isn’t funny. I would have laughed if it was funny or even relatable. It is neither.

Oh my gosh/garsh = Folks might get mad at you for taking the lord’s name in vain even if they’ve been dead for years.

ELITE (born outstate, still gets mild endorphin rush hearing the words “two hours late, no morning kindergarten,” considers sending email to new meteorologist who keeps mispronouncing Willmar before Wheel of Fortune comes on)

Swearing in German = Older relative trying to trick God.

I’m allergic to (random food item, like olives) = I don’t like (random food item, like olives)

Whatever is easiest for you = You aren’t seriously going to do whatever’s easiest for you. You can’t be this stupid.

Doesn’t matter to me = It matters quite a bit. Choose wisely and correctly.

We don’t talk like that = It’s been brought to your attention that people from here talk a little funny, you will not admit it, you’re still mad at the Coen brothers about Fargo and besides Wisconsin is way worse at this.

You probably have a couple that we forgot to mention. That’s nice. It’s fine.

Mixed Messages is available to all Surly markets. It’s interesting in the good way. Specs on the exclusive Mixed Messages beers below:

Fall to Pieces

• Hops: Mosaic, Lotus, Warrior
• Malt: Two-Row Pale, Wheat, Carafoam, Oats
• Yeast: English Ale
• Pour: Golden
• ABV: 6.8%
• Bitterness: Low

Grindcore

• Hops: Warrior
• Malt: 2-Row, Roasted Barley, Chocolate, Carafa 3
• Yeast: English Ale
• Guests: Lactose, Espresso Beans
• Pour: Black
• ABV: 5.3%
• Bitterness: Low

Periscope

• Hops: Centennial (dry-hop), Warrior
• Malt: 2-Row, Aromatic, Crystal, Carafoam, Acidulated
• Yeast: English Ale
• Pour: Amber
• ABV: 5.5%
• Bitterness: Medium